Things are really screwed up in this world, especially when it comes to the aspect of time. You don’t have any of it. You have too much of it. Rarely do we ever get a schedule that gives us the perfect balance of work and free team and isn’t the result of calling in sick or being an obese shut-in. We have a week to finish that paper. The deadline for that project is tomorrow. Oh dear god, kill us all.

Graciously, the cosmos have decided that I am no exception (thanks, mysterious overall unidentified being), and I find myself no where near the happy medium of a time surplus and a ration stock. Some days you find me rushing around, unable to sit still, anxious and uneasy about what getting 4 things accomplished in a third of the time available, and others where the drool is puddling upon my desk in my half-ass effort to remain awake.

Why are we in this position? Why do we have so little time? Do we not manage our time wisely? Do we take on too much at once? Are we simply lazy and procrastinate, leaving everything for the last minute paranoia attack? And what about if we have too much time? Do we not have a hobby? Do we have no purpose or drive? Or simply yet, do we not have any idea what the hell to do?

After sitting through SAT and ACT testing, forcing every ounce of my brain power to work and solve my problems in the allotted time period, I’ve just come to the same conclusion that we all already know: time is a great stress factor that will be hindering us for the rest of our lives.

But then again, in our daily lives, we don’t realize something: how much time do we have left? I don’t mean until the deadline. I mean until we die. When are we going to die? We don’t know. It could be in an hour, in a day, in a year, in 30 years. Hell, I could die in the ten seconds it takes to finish writing this sentence…well, I didn’t…anyways, that’s my point. We don’t know when we’re going to croak, so it’s best to make use of whatever time we have, whether it’s an over-excess or not. Cause eventually, we will run out. And when that day comes, it’s really really gonna suck.

I’m just writing my random thoughts…just what comes to mind…for a lack of a better topic. Perhaps I’ll think of a better topic during this brainstorming session…XP

Anyways, being in AP British Literature has really taught me to analyze ALL written works…and now that I listen to it, “The Bad Touch” is really well written…so many metaphors and allusions…it’s a shame that it’s about…oh, how to put this delicately…porking. That’s as clean as I’m getting. Deal with it. Thankfully, my school has enough sense to not play that song at the dances…

However, it doesn’t stop them from playing songs like “Soulja Boy” and “I Kissed a Girl”. Don’t get me wrong, I like them. Soulja Boy is probably the only dance I know (other than the Macarena and the Electric Slide) and I Kissed a Girl is totally epic and amazing, but you’d figure a bunch of old teachers would listen and go, “Hey, wait…you’re going to super soak WHAT?” And still, Apple Bottom Jeans remains my guilty pleasure. For a person who loves rock and emo crap like HH and Evanescence, I just can’t help but feel like dancing when Apple Bottom Jeans plays…well, I do have I Kissed a Girl and one or two preppy dance songs on my iPod, but that’s where I draw the line, usually…

One song I’ll never dance to (and I’m sure more people than me feel this way) is Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab”. That song is…for one…interesting. I mean, my MySpace tagline said “…tried to make me go to rehab, but I say no, no, no!” But seriously, why is that song so popular…she’s a drug addict who is refusing to get treatment, and she sings a song about it, and gets a bunch of fucking Grammies. Does that make sense? The chick walks around outside with a large ass beehive wearing nothing but skinny jeans and a black bra! Even Britney is past that! Good job Brit! *clap clap*

Well, back to I Kissed a Girl…I thank Katy Perry for this song. Granted it’ll be a one-hit wonder, but it’s amazing. The first time I heard this song, I clapped. It was stuck in my head for weeks, repeating endlessly, and I only knew the chorus. Well, weeks later, and now I know the song! A pastor in Ohio, however, found it borderline homosexual and lewd, or so he says, and changed the marquee outside the church to, “I kissed a girl / And I liked it / Then I went to hell”. What follows? Rebellion. He got so many complains, he had to take it down. Lesson learned? Don’t piss off fans of I Kissed a Girl. Cherry Chapstick reigns.

I’m so tired…and injured…hopefully tomorrow I feel better…I hope! School is stressful, but then again, when isn’t it. I mean, I’ve learned a lot. What have I learned? Well:

1. Trig isn’t as hard as the book makes it sound…
2. I miss my old Algebra 2 class…
3. Even though I hate biology with a vengeance, it was still the easiest AP Environmental Science test I’ve taken this year.
4. The six people who are supposedly given credit for writing Shakespeare’s plays are NOT Jan, Marsha, Cindy, Greg, Bobby, and Peter.
5. They are also not Dopey, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Grumpy, and Happy, excluding a secret seventh writer named Doc.
6. Rain + rolled down windows = one entertaining moment when one girl realized she needed to go out to her car.
7. Keeping a camera handy is essential.
8. Break dancing in the approach is not a proper way to celebrate a strike in bowling; however, it is the most fun way.

That’s all for now.

I’m going to sleep.

Night.

Hey, I’m still alive, and the blog hasn’t died. I’ve just been busy. I’ll be back with more posts soon enough!

Do you love the new banner? I know I do.

Now, onto today’s topic…dead end streets, broken homes, shattered lives, lost souls…that’s my longest title ever…^_^

Anyways…dead end streets, broken homes, shattered lives, lost souls…no one wants any of those. No one wants to be falling forever, stranded alone, broken, beaten, damned…yet, people are falling…and the only person keeping them at the bottom is themselves…

Look…if you’re depressed, that’s one thing…but as I’ve said before, sorrow is not something that should be ignored…as much as you don’t want to believe it, you need sadness. You wouldn’t be human without it. Yet sadness is a double-edged sword…it can be dangerous if you don’t have control over it. You can use it to connect with someone’s soul, to use sensitivity, or to write an epic soul stirring literary masterpiece…

Yet if you’re not careful, your sorrow can consume you, like the shadows that engulf the nighttime air. It’s undeniable that using your sorrow has its drawbacks…you’re more sensitive, you’re more likely to feel the pain of others, and share their pain…and yes, it can make you sad…typical.

But your sorrow should be kept with you at all times, always present, never fading…even if you’ve faced the difficulties, even if you’ve been in trouble, even if your life is horrible…take the sorrow stemming from it, and use it to your advantage…control your sorrow, never let it control you.

I control my sorrow…and now I can make people cry with my poetry and paragraphs of deep emotional literature…and that’s what I can do. My sorrow gifts me with empathy and heightened writing abilities. My sadness gifts me with sensitivity and compassion.

Am I a sad person? I dunno…yes, I’m a little more doleful and gloomy than the rest, yet I’m fine with it. I don’t mind embracing my sorrow, and even though people figure I’m weird for it, I’ll never let it go. So yes, I’m a little less cheery than my peers, but I would never have it any other way.

My despair is my heartbeat, my dole my breath, and my sorrow the blood that flows through my veins. The shadows that surround my soul embrace it, yet fail to engulf it, cradling it, enchanting it with the abilities that I cherish so much. And nothing will ever convince me to let it go.

Stay in love with your sorrow. And never let it go. Because as Amy Lee says, your sorrow is a part of your being, so never let it go. Because there can be no happiness without sadness. There can be no joy without pain. There can be no rejoicing without suffering. Just as songs need notes, or poetry needs words, happiness needs sadness…and all three of those aren’t complete without the other.

Use your sorrow…and never let it control you.

Sayoonara…

-Dekkun-

Third times the charm!

I’ve already glorified twenty songs now! So…if I accidently repeat myself and glorify a song that I’ve glorified before, please forgive me…I can’t remember all of the songs I glorified before…so…yeah…here we go..

Dekkun’s Top 10 Songs, Edition 3

10. The Kill
30 Seconds to Mars

You’re fed up…you’re trying to be someone else for someone you love, but you can’t handle not being yourself, and you know, no matter how much you don’t want it to be true, you can’t be someone who you’re not…and it won’t work out pretending to be someone else.

9. Rapid Hope Loss
Dashboard Confessionals

Well…finally, a song that isn’t lover’s lament. Two people break up, and now that the infatuation has worn off, the singer realizes his love wasn’t as fantastic as he thought when he got with her in the first place. Thanks Dashboard Confessional.

8. Paranoiattack / I Disappear
The Faint

A combo. Both are just awesome techno danceable songs…I remember going bowling and just suddenly having Paranoiattack go through my head and I started singing it under my breath whilst waiting my turn…I got a weird look…^_^

7. Reject
Green Day

A rebelious Anarchistic song, speaking out against social sects…stating, “What’s the difference between you and me? / I do whatI want / And you do what you’re told / So listen up, shut the hell up / I’m done with you / And I’ll see you in hell / So when the smoke clears here I am / Your reject all american / Sucking up you social sect / Making you a nervous wreck / To hell and back and hell again I’ve gone / You’re not my type”.

6. Famous Last Words
My Chemical Romance

De ja vou? Whatever…It’s upbeat, catchy, and the chorus is like a motto for life. “I’m not afraid to keep on living / I’m not afraid to walk this world alone / Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven / Nothing you can say can stop me going home.”

5. Crazy and Holiday
Simple Plan and Green Day

Both songs are good…though Crazy is a little bit too Pop for my tastes…anyways, they both tell of the faults with society…Crazy tells of the aspects that deal with our lives and our futures, and Holiday deals with war. Go look em up.

4. Private School Kid
Sarah McLeod of The Superjesus

This song is like a warning to a friend about a certain private school kid…that kid is a WHORE! Just a warning…

3. Story of a Girl
Nine Days

Old song…well, not too old…anyways, a song about a girl, a bit of a plain Jane, a little worst for wear…yet the singer loves her anyways…”Your clothes never wear as well the next day / And your hair never falls in quite the same way / You never seem to run out of things to say / This is the story of a girl / Who cried a river and drowned the whole world / And while she looked so sad in photographs / I absolutely love her / When she smiles.”

2. Sakura Drops
Utada Hikaru

I just wanted a song that you couldn’t understand the words to. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

And this time’s number one song…

1. Going Under
Evanescence

They dominate a lot, don’t they? Anyways…Amy Lee…ruling as usual…is saying that she doesn’t want to fall under someone’s manipulations…so she doesn’t want to go under…”I’m going under / I’m Drowning in you / I’m falling forever / I’ve got to break through / So go on and scream at me / So far away / I won’t be broken again / I’ve got to breathe / I can’t keep going under.”

Well, that’s it for now…Sayoonara.

-Dekkun-

2.

Dear lord no…

Why the fuck do people still not get it? Just cause someone is different doesn’t mean something is wrong with them.

I remember reading about a teen who snapped and murdered his friend…the friend: cheery and outgoing. The Teen: reserved, favored black, a bit pesimistic…and suddenly, everyone assumes he did it because he “displayed the signs”…

What the fuck! The fact that he liked black or was a bit sullen didn’t mean he had a problem. The problem came when he killed his friend! Really! Just because you wear black doesn’t automatically mean you have problems. Just because you keep to yourself doesn’t mean you’ll be a murder. Just because you’re pesimistic doesn’t mean anything. YOU’RE JUST DIFFERENT! That’s…it…

END OF STORY!

And I’m tired of all the adults who try to weasel their way into a teen’s life, tell them they have a problem, and tell them they need to stop. A person will not, and can not, get over a problem just because some adult says, “Stop. It’s not good for you.” No. A person needs to deal with their problems on their own. They can’t be forced to come to terms. They have to do it themselves. Seriously.

“What you’re doing only hurts. Don’t do it.”
“Oh my god…I’ve…I’ve seen the error of my ways. I’ve been so ignorant and misguided. I’ll restart on the path of good. Thank you, respected authority figure, for setting me back on the right track.”

Yeah…right…here’s how that conversation will go…

“What you’re doing only hurts. Don’t do it.”
“Stop bothering me.”
“I’m only trying to help.”
“I don’t need it.”

Seriously. Yes, if the person is addicted to crack cocaine, then I think that may be grounds for intervention. If a person is a booze hound, yes, intervention. The only time to interfere with someone’s life is if their about to kill themselves doing whatever they’re doing. If a person is a bit…off…or depressed..or something, leave them alone. Just make sure you keep an eye on them. But don’t fucking interfere.

That’s it…the only time I believe you should interfere is when someone is doing drugs, drinking, or is about to die/kill themselves doing whatever. If a person becomes withdrawn, try to talk to them, or be friends, but for the love of whatever, don’t try to give them the motavational chat. Please. I tire of those.

I mean, my teacher, I ended up missing a lot of his classes for circumstances that were out of my control and in no way my fault. I did nothing wrong, yet it still affected how many classes I missed. And I offered to give him an explanation, and he told me, “Look, what happened is none of my business, and I only care that you’re okay. So as long as you are fine, then I’m just glad that you’re back.” That is perfect. Right there. Straight and to the point. He didn’t try to interfere. He didn’t try to butt into business that wasn’t his. He only worried about my well-being. Perfect. And he respected my privacy and my issues, and didn’t try to pry. Good job Mr. Good job.

Why can’t more people be like that? I just know that if it was a certain teacher (whom I dislike), that teacher would try to interfere and pry and pick and gnaw until I told ‘em. Besides, I don’t trust ’em anyways…I mean, I would have told the first teacher if he truely wanted to know, because I know he wouldn’t do anything that would be harsh or negatively affect me, and he’s one of the FEW people who I trust. Since I ended up missing a lot of his classes, and he’s been nothing but nice to me, I wouldn’t mind telling him the reason why I was absent so much, because he deserves to know. Now the other teacher, that teacher is a total bitch, and I do not trust that teacher in any way, shape, or form…and besides, they’d probably try to pry further into the issue when it’s settled. I mean, jeeze. Lay off. 

Wow…I just remembered…internet…public access…anyone can read…imagine if the teachers see this? Ah well…they’ll never know it’s me…or will they? One or two might, and more can figure it out if they’re smart enough…^_^

Heh…*yawns* I’m out of ideas now…I’ve complained my heart out for now…so…yeah…

Sayoonara.

-Dekkun-

“All the paths in life only have obstacles if you allow it.”
-Me

Hey. Dekkun’s here…again…with a new post…and instead of being mad or bitching…which will probably be my next post…I’m actually going to encourage you tonight…

Look…life is cruel and difficult…no one can argue with that. If anyone tells you that their life has been perfect, then they’re lying. If they say they’re perfect, that means they’ve gotten everything they wanted in life, got perfect grades in school, their family was rich, they lived in a perfect house, went to a perfect school, lived a perfect life, nothing bad happened to them, and everything went the way they wanted. Bullshit. If a person says this, and claims their parents are rich, and so their life has gone perfectly, then they’re empty inside. They have nothing, no common sense, no real view of life, nothing. They’re an empty, hollow shell that has no real grasp on reality, and will get no where when they’re thrown out into the real world.

The rest of us, the normal ones, we’ve all faced reality. Nothing is perfect. And life is on the list.

We’ve all been faced with different challenges, yet, we’ve overcome them all, and just keep going…and if you haven’t overcome your struggle…hold on.

Keep fighting…it’s never over unless you give up…and then what? You fail. Never give up, because if you work hard and never give in, it’ll get better. It truely will…

So never give up. Ever.

And remember, we’ve all faced tragedies. We’ve all been sad and depressed. We’ve all been oppressed. We all bleed the same way that you do. And we’ve overcome it.

And anyone telling you that they haven’t faced any tragedy, then feel sorry for them, because they don’t know what it feels to be human.

Never. Ever. Give. Up.

Period.

-Dekkun-

“It’s a new day, but it all feels old
It’s a good life, that’s what I’m told
But everything, it all just feels the same

At my high school, it felt more to me
Like a jail cell, a penitentiary
My time spent there, it only made me see

That I don’t ever wanna be like you
I don’t wanna do the things you do
I’m never gonna hear the words you say
And I don’t ever wanna, I don’t ever wanna

Be you
Don’t wanna be just like you
Oh, what I’m sayin’ is this is the anthem
Throw all your hands up
You…Don’t wanna be you

Go to college, a university
Get a real job
That’s what they said to me
But I could never live the way they want
I’m gonna get by, and just do my time
Out of step while, they all get in line
I’m just a minor threat so pay no mind

Do you really wanna be like them
Do you wanna be another trend?
Do you wanna be part of that crowd?
‘Cause I don’t ever wanna, I don’t ever wanna
Be you
Don’t wanna be just like you
Oh, what I’m sayin’ is this is the anthem
Throw all your hands up
You…Don’t wanna be you

You…Don’t wanna be just like you
What I’m sayin’ is this is the anthem
Throw all your hands up
Y’all got to feel me, sing if you’re with me,
You…Don’t wanna be just like you (just like you)
This is the anthem throw all your hands up
Y’all got to feel me, sing if you’re with me
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem (whoa-oh)
Another loser anthem”

-”The Anthem”, Good Charlotte

Anyways, why do people feel the need to judge other people? I mean, we’re all different, yes, but regardless, just become others are not used to certain people, they judge and degrade  for no good reason. They label a person without getting to know them. They decide whether they like them or hate them without even talking to them. And if they fit into a certain stereotype…auto-hate.

In 15 seconds, we decide whether we like people or hate them based off of the first impressions they give…and those judgements last for life. So basically in a quarter of a minute we’ve decided our attitude towards someone forever. That’s a little hasty…

Seriously…sure, certain people may be annoying…and yes, you can despise their qualities, but for crying out loud, just try to get to know them before deciding you hate them.

Really. You don’t know a person: their backgrounds, their histories, their traumas, their experiences. You don’t know the hardships they’ve faced in life.You don’t know the obstacles they’ve overcome. You don’t know what they survived and lived through. There’s a reason why they’re the way they are, so don’t hate anyone, because it might not be their fault that they’re an ass…well, yes, they made the choice to be an ass in a particular situation, but perhaps they’re the way they are for some reason that’s out of their control…

I face the stereotypes a lot, and I get some looks from the jocks and preppies, but you know what? I don’t care. No, it’s not the emo apathy. I really don’t care. You laugh because I’m different. I laugh because you’re all the same.

I like being different. It seperates me from the rest, from the clones and the nobodies, the copy-cats and the imitators. The reason why? Because…as I’ve said before, I’m comfortable with myself, and that’s all I care about. I like who I am. I’m proud of who I am, and the things I do. And besides, I know I’m better than them, because I at least gave them the benefit of the doubt.

I’m different. And I’m fine with being different. Because in the long run, it’s better to stick out than to be another trend. Take “The Anthem” above…and live it. And always remember Dekkun’s motto…”You laugh because I’m different. I laugh because you’re all the same.”  

Ogenki des ne.

-Dekkun-

Hey…I’m probably trespassing on terriroties that will spark disagreements, yet, I’m doing it anyways.

People are called emo all the time when they show a little bit of emotion. Or if they show a certain stereotype. What are the stereotypes of emo…or goth? Here:

-Favoring black
-Favoring safety pins
-Favoring duct tape
-Favoring pins
-Wearing messenger bags
-Wearing tight pants
-Wearing band t-shirts
-Wearing horn rimmed glasses
-Keeping a poetry journal
-Being sensitive
-Being emotional
-Keeping a live journal (yeah!)
-Sporting a fringe, or a “backwards mullet”
-Painting your nails black, or wearing heavy eyeliner or guy-liner
-Favoring Converse

Well, if you fit three of those stereotypes, you’d be classified as emo. Really. How pathetic.

Look. Emo is not a fashion statement. It’s an expression of your inner self. If your poetry is sensitive, you’re sensitive. If your poetry is happy, you’re happy. If your poetry is sad, you’re sad. Do you see a pattern here? Just because you wear a pair of jeans a size too small doesn’t make you emo. It just makes you have less circulation to your feet. Just because you keep a live journal doesn’t make you emo. It just makes you need a new hobby (this is my hobby). Emo is just an expression of who you are. And if you prefer the things on the list above, then so be it. I prefer the things on the list above…except I don’t have those horn rimmed glasses. My glasses are normal…oh, and I don’t wear those freaking tight pants. I like to feel my feet, thanks.

I love my Converse. End of Story…

-Dekkun-

EDIT: In my defense, the thing aseresked can apply to emos and are a common stereotype of emos. Just cause they can apply to more than one clique doesn’t mean that it’s not emo.

Well, I have my second Top 10 list…if you want to see the original, go back in my archives…

Dekkun’s Top 10 Songs: Edition 2

10. Saying Sorry
Hawthorne Heights

Well, two lovers are in a fight, and the guy feels sorry for his other because he sees her tears. “Seeing you cry / This time / The same old story / Seeing you cry / Makes me feel like saying sorry.”

9. The Anthem
Good Charlotte

Ah, a song of teenage rebellion and angst. I love this. Break free from the trends and cliques and be yourself. Be who you are. “Do you really want to be like them? / Do you want to be another trend / I don’t wanna hear the words they say /I don’t ever wanna / I don’t ever wanna be you.” Remember, they laugh because I’m different. I laugh because they’re all the same.

8. Give Me Novacaine
Green Day

The way I see this song, it’s releasing one from their pain. I’ll let you decide whether its euthenasia, suicide, or drug use, or what, but still…the lyrics say everything. “Drain the pressure from the swelling / This sensation’s overwhelming / Give me all a kiss goodnight / And everything will be alright / Tell me that I won’t feel a thing / So give me novacaine.”

7. Three Simple Words
Finch

This song is like a wrath song. Not a head bang wrath song. I mean a get-so-angry-you-trash-your-room-storm-about-and-destroy-things-all-the-while-letting-off-steam wrath song. It’s hard to listen to Finch and not headbang…don’t hurt yourself now…

6. Light Up the Sky
Yellowcard

A song about doing anything for someone you care about. Nuff’ said.

5. Be My Last / Final Distance
Utada Hikaru

Well, don’t you wish you knew Japanese like me? Demo, watashi wa nihongo wo chotto hanashimasu. Anyways, the songs themselves are extremely soothing, and from the small amount of English in the songs, you can tell they’re about love. Be My Last says that she’s been in love so many times, she wants this one to be the final one. And Final Distance is about going that extra distance to be with someone you love. Learn Japanese. It’s fun.

4. Lacrymosa
Evanescence

Aww…two spots lower Amy…too bad. This song is the entity of darkness, reeking of Mozart and shadows. There was rumor that this song and Snow White Queen were supposed to be for the Croncles of Narnia, yet they were rejected for being too dark…go Evanescence! Don’t you think a bit of darkness would appeal to a Disney movie? And besides, those songs would be perfect for the movie. Well, we all make mistakes…Disney just made a huge one…”Blame it on me / Set your guilt free / There’s nothing to hold you back now.”

3. Cemetery Drive
My Chemical Romance

A person’s love commits suicide, and the person is left behind wondering if she got what she deserved, or if the punishment was too much. I have nothing more to say but that I  <3 this song.

2a. Good Enough
Evanescence

Physce! Amy does claim the number two spot again. Well, probably after three albums, Evanescence writes a song that finally has a hint of being satisified to it. I love it.

2b. Everybody’s Fool
Evanescence

See? She claimed two number two spots. Well, this song is about being a lie. Did I do this song already? Oh well…deal with it…it’s worth it.

and the number one song…

1. Hold On
Good Charlotte

This song is about holding on during hard times and never giving up, since it does get better. “Hold on if you feel like letting go / Hold on, it gets better than you know / Don’t stop looking, you’re one stop closer / Don’t stop searching / It’s not over / Hold on.”

That’s it for this time. I’ll see you all later with a new entry later…

Oh, and by the way, Joel McHale did not use the Danny Noriega clip on The Soup this week. No, some people weren’t liking it. How dare you.

-Dekkun-