My “Jesus of Suburbia” Music Video Summary

Sup y’all. It’s Dekkun ‘gain. I remember watching the music video for “Jesus of Suburbia” (Green Day) right when it came out. No one was home, so I talked out loud…and thankfully…a year later, I remember what I thought out loud.

Remember, these are my random thoughts…my thoughts went everywhere on this…

This review will be easier to follow if you have watched the video before. You can view it here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=DazcaEmE6wY

Well…here we go:

I. Jesus of Suburbia

Okay, there’s Jimmy (woot woot)…and he’s smoking…7-11….and PARTY! Party drink party drink party and sex. Snorting cocaine. Sex. And more partying. Partying. Drinking, and then French kissing…not a good combo. Drunken dancing. Drinking…dancing…passing out…and…CUT TO A SLUM GHETTO!

Grattifing and loitering. Jimmy walking…and Billie Joe Armstrong on TV. Jimmy walking…and back to the party. This video is very ADD/Bipolar.

Wait, now back to the slum ghetto bridge littered with newspaper…walking…and back to the partying. Partying, drinking, partying, smoking, and more sex. And more cocaine. Dear god, move along…oh, and now he’s taking photos…doing the Gene Simmons thing now…*covers eyes*…and…now back to the party…and his mom is there too? What the…

“Whoo…yeah…great party! Girls gone wild!”
“Mom, what are you doing here?”
“Whoooo….”
“Mom, get up!”
“Fuck you Jimmy *buuuurrrrrrrrp**bitchslap*”

Partying…and LOUNGING IN THE LIVING ROOM! WHOOHOO! And Jimmy’s getting chewed out. What’s the matter with you? “Your face.” OMG! Oh snn-app! A Jesus reference (rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub…yay God), an angry Jimmy…flipping plates! Erm..Mrs. Jesus of Suburbia, you’ve got a little something on your chin…

II. City of the Dead

And now Jimmy’s walking in DAYLIGHT! And he bothers a couple making out…douchebag…closeup on the sad Jimmy…his tattoo on his knuckles…he’s wearing converse! *claps* I love converse. Waving hands. Jimmy’s got acne…he already wears guy-liner…he couldn’t use a little concealer? *Danny Noriega voice* “I guess some people weren’t liking it.” Make out…and stare at the camera…DON’T LOOK AT THE CAMERA YOU SON OF A BATCH! Doing half-ass jumping jacks…and staring at the camera…and doing kinky things in a 7-11 and putting SnowCaps on the goth-chick’s boobs…I’m never going to the movies again…nice place for your tat, lady. Yes, we notice. Stop with the boobs.

Loitering..and Billie Joe…and loitering…and Billie Joe…and loitering…AND MOPING IN THE BATHROOM! How fun! The flickering lights aren’t dramatic…and the crumpled up newspaper makes its second cameo! *keeps back hordes of cheering fans* And now we’re back to the sex. Billie Joe again. And then sex. Billie Joe, cocaine, sex, and back to the 7-11 bathroom. Jimmy! Don’t grafitti the walls. You’re getting all hysterical. Your eyeliner is running…and now you’re on the floor. WHEE! Spiral…and more grafitti. I want that bracelet…they don’t have it at my Hot Topic…

Billie Joe. Jimmy spinning. Goth girl spinning, and drinking…and getting sick. Again, bad combo…and then a fight starts…GOTH PUNK FIGHT!

“Come on baby, lets get outta here.”
*random push* “Take that Jimmy.”
“Leave my Jimmy alone.”
“What bitch? What?”
“RRRROOOOAAAAARRRRRRR!”
“Your breath stinks, and I’m givin you fishy lips. ^_^”

More gratiffi…and the morning after…and another boob shot…except its not of someone we’d like to look at. Another nice tat to shove into the camera…Billie Joe, and fishy lip woman…hey, don’t shove her! Smack the sink…and now Jimmy’s bang-buddy is puttin’ on makeup. Getting dressed…smoking…and leaving. “You were a great fuck. See ya!”

III. I Don’t Care 

And SCREAM!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh*cough cough*

Hey, WTF! What did the Funonions do to you, you jackass…those poor funonions…and the bathroom dramatics…and walking through the 7-11. Throwing shit off the shelves. Jumping on the bed.

“Jimmy, clean your room.”
“NO!! I DON’T WANNA! *hops on bed*”

And he’s killing Funonions. And Slurpees too! Hey man, what do you have against 7-11…god, now I’m hungry…bathroom…and pouring Slurpee all over 7-11. Hey, he knocked over the sink…that takes talent. And now it’s Tre on TV…a bang-buddy smoking…and Jimmy watching TV…ohh, what’s on? *head tilt* Hello again bang-buddy. And again.

Ohhhh…and Jimmy gets punched out. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! Spider-boob chick watches on…and Jimmy gets punched in the ribs…and the Jimmy strikes back! Head banging on the cement…and goth girl goes RRRROOOOAAAARRRRR! Wait, how come no one tried to pull them apart when they were fighting, yet goth girl can do it single handedly while it takes 7 people to hold back the other guy?…wait…nevermind…-_-

Yes Jimmy, your knuckles are nice. And its the ghetto……and…the….party…AGAIN! Lemme guess…more sex? No? More fighting? Heh…touche Suburbia. And the bathroom again. RRRRRROOOOOAAAAARRRRRRR!

Ouchies, I have a headache…and Jimmy + Goth Girl.

IV. Dearly Beloved

Jimmy, put some clothes on. Oh, wow…shot in the dark…he has a Green Day poster on his wall…and here comes the CLEANUP CREW! WHOOHOO! SWEEP! SWEEP! Jimmy, put some clothes on! PAINT! FIX THE SINK! I like Jimmy’s posters…and his self portrait. And the ghetto….and apparently Pebbles Flintstone as a goth girl…and the goth dropout dolls. Jommy playing guitar…standing…his eyes…PAINTING! YEAH! SWEEP! Hey, he’s wearing clothes! Hi asian girl! She’s the only minority we’ve seen in the entire video…I guess they needed to prove they’re not racist…Jimmy, don’t sit so close to the TV, you’ll ruin your eyes…PAINT THE CEILING! Oh, wait…another minority. We got Aunt Jemimah out of the kitchen and cleaning the mirror! Whoohoo!

Walk. Walk…and hey, it’s your bang-buddy Jimmy! She’s doing WHAT?!? “I’m f—ing him” You…whore! What was I to you?!? “A one night stand?” Oh, right. Bye…bitch…and suddenly…hey, what’s she wearing? She’s like a goth glam hooker fairy princess. Nice Tiara.

V. Tales from Another Broken Home 

And here comes the angst…annnd the 7-11 again. Jimmy. Ignore the tape…whydontcha? Jimmy! Aunt Jemimah just cleaned that!

Jimmy? What’s that? A razor? Jimmy…Jimmy! Jimmy! Don’t do it! You don’t know where it’s been! You gon get AIDS! Jimmy…oh Jimmy…I’m disappointed…oh wow, you’re cutting deep. Of course it hurts you fucker…and now what? Oh, brilliant. Leave your blood on the wall. I can’t wait until Horatio Caine gets there: shades go off, snappy comment, walks off camera, and “Won’t get fooled again” plays as the opening sequence to CSI: Miami starts…great job Jimmy…and the Ghetto. Ghetto…and Billie Joe’s mouth. and walking again.

Wow, Jimmy’s car is a piece o shit. Hi mom! And pack his things…don’t forget your belt Jimmy. Flip that shit. Hi mom! Oh, wait, bye mom. Get in the car…”WAIT! WAIT JIMMY!” Huh? “Get out of the car!” … “*smokes*” Yes mom? Awww…she’s hugging you, despite what a douchebag you’ve been…hey, hug your mommy back! Jackass! She’s your mommy! Don’t push her away! Awww….now she’s alone…I feel sorry for her…and we’re back to the Ghettooo…and the 7-11…and his bloody handprint…and a major fast flash of images…and a cutoff equal to the Sopranos series finale…

And that’s it. That was 1074 words describing the video…yet I can do it in fewer: Partying, smoking, drinking, sex, cocaine, fighting, agnst, gratiffi, cutting, and leaving home. 12 words. ^_^ I’ve got skillz…

See you all later.

-Dekkun-

~ by dekkun on March 16, 2008.